No big deal

Now, I don't want anybody to panic, but I miiiiiight've met with a bit of a workplace accident the other day.

I don't want to say that it was a purposeful attack or anything, but... that chainsaw in the garbage can was a little suspicious, after the fact.

Like always, though, I'm not one to take things lying down. (Well... technically, in this case...)

So I assembled a crack team of doctors - the very best that money can buy:

And then I fired them all and fixed it myself.

I am Bobblehead Dan. That's how I roll.

When I'm Hungry, I Eat Stuff.

***The following is a paid announcement and does not necessarily represent the views of Bobblehead Dan Uggla or his correspondents.***

Sometimes, when I'm hungry, I eat.

Always, when I'm hungry, I eat wherever and whatever I want.

The best of those times is when I eat at the Grand Asian Buffet. Their charming decor, delightfully friendly staff, and authentic fresh cuisine hit a HOME RUN for me! (And if anyone knows about home runs, it's Bobblehead Dan Uggla.)

If you want to be as awesome as me, eat at the Grand Asian Buffet now!! Tell them Bobblehead Dan Uggla sent you!

***End of Paid Announcement***

Boy, I better get paid a lot for this. That place was marginal at best. I didn't feel right for a week after that. Now I'm writing what I really think! Haha! Good thing I'm going to delete this before it goes online. I just hope I don't accidentally hit "Publish" instead of "Delete." klasdhhaweuioahkdjkfhaklsdfuioaefasdf hahaha! I love keyboards!!! Ok well I better delete this now since my publicist says we have a deadline. Here goe-

Genius, thy name is Bobblehead Dan Uggla

It is October. That is a fact.

Do you know what October means?

No, not that... it's a stupid game anyway. But I'm not bitter... 

Sigh

No, October means Halloween.

Yes

Halloween is my favorite for two reasons:

Number one:

I've been dressing up for years, so I pretty much invented Halloween. You may have seen one of my many disguises before.

And number two:

My costume this year? Yeah. It's awesome.

Please Don't Feed [Bobblehead Dan Uggla to] the Animals

The other day I was watching a show on TV about animals. I thought to myself, "I want those." So I went and found some. (Actually I had my agent find me some.) I didn't want to be flocked by adoring fans, so I got in disguise as Batless Bobblehead Dan Uggla and we went to the State Fair. The animals were a little larger than I expected (they didn't look so big on TV) but they looked so fluffy that I thought they'd be okay.

Things started out okay with an innocent picture with an innocent sheep...

These chickens were a little scarier, but their cage kept me protected and safe I was so intimidating that they didn't dare mess with me...

I donated a quarter from my vast wealth and fed the goats. I was really starting to get into this!

Maybe I was getting a little too into this... 

Then the animals started to get a bit too friendly.

Then I was attacked by a viscous (don't let the looks fool you) beast of some sort. 

Well, and then this happened...

Why didn't they show me this sign in the first place?

Ahem, I mean, I told those animals what was what, and they ran away scared. I am so awesome.

I, Traveling.

As a traveling bobblehead, sometimes I often travel. This week took me to Philadelphia, where I was the featured inspirational speaker at a convention of people who need inspiration. As you might imagine, this was a lot of hard work, so I didn't have much time to visit the city. Here I am at my luxurious hotel:

They always make these beds way too big.

I never leave without my laptop, which allows me to keep up on my work - and connect with my fans.

After working all day, I was able to sneak away for a while to see the city a little bit. Here I am in Philadelphia.

Heading out to see the city

Dark pic in front of City Hall. (Don't worry, this photographer will be eliminated.)

Hard Rock Cafe. Disregard the large hand in the photo and refer to above caption.

Philly Cheesesteak. Oh yes.

The "Love Statue." Much bigger than I expected.

The Liberty Bell. Maybe I went inside and rang it with my head, and maybe I didn't. You'll never know.

After seeing the town a little bit, I even had time to stop by and see some old friends. The life of a Bobblehead Dan Uggla is a good life.

Planking Adventures

Well, as everybody knows, not too long ago I invented an exciting sport called planking. It's pretty simple really, and since I know you've already tried it, I don't need to explain how it works. But remember, whenever you do a plank you have to name it. With that in mind, here are the results of my latest planking adventure!

The I don't use a walking bridge for walking plank.

The you know I've got impressive abs because I'm using them to hold up my head right now plank.

The I think I'm the first bobblehead to ever climb a tree, and I know I'm the first bobblehead to ever plank in a tree plank.

The you can lock the doors, but you can't keep me from planking on them...plank.

The let's see any of you plank on a bike rack plank.

The plank that went terribly wrong....

I don't know how I'm going to explain this to my mom. I just barely recovered from my recent decapitation .

I guess this is my life now.
I may be a double amputee (for the time being..) but nothing will keep me from planking!

The I'm planking on the Joseph Smith Building sign plank.

The I'm having a staring contest with myself...and I'm winning plank.

The in case of emergency call Bobblehead Amputee Dan Uggla plank.

The I'm on a spooky light and it might be melting my face a little bit plank.

The there will be no hooliganism allowed under Bobblehead Amputee Dan Uggla's watch plank

  

The I'm uncomfortably high - especially after suffering a terrible accident, but my human counterpart plays for the Braves, so I'll put on a brave face plank.

The I can't believe the stinking sprinkler turned on while I was planking on it plank.

Sometimes I see other things I like. Sometimes... (well, you know the rest.)

One day I was riding my bike, as usual...

...when I started to feel a bit hungry. So I started to look around for some food.

Something delicious caught my eye, and no one was looking, so I sprang into action.

Mmmmm... sweet victory.