Monday, October 10, 2011

Please Don't Feed [Bobblehead Dan Uggla to] the Animals


The other day I was watching a show on TV about animals. I thought to myself, "I want those." So I went and found some. (Actually I had my agent find me some.) I didn't want to be flocked by adoring fans, so I got in disguise as Batless Bobblehead Dan Uggla and we went to the State Fair. The animals were a little larger than I expected (they didn't look so big on TV) but they looked so fluffy that I thought they'd be okay.
Things started out okay with an innocent picture with an innocent sheep...
These chickens were a little scarier, but their cage kept me protected and safe I was so intimidating that they didn't dare mess with me...
I donated a quarter from my vast wealth and fed the goats. I was really starting to get into this!
Maybe I was getting a little too into this... 
Then the animals started to get a bit too friendly.
Then I was attacked by a viscous (don't let the looks fool you) beast of some sort. 
Well, and then this happened...

Why didn't they show me this sign in the first place?

Ahem, I mean, I told those animals what was what, and they ran away scared. I am so awesome.

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